THE GIFT

As I reminisce my life way back two years ago or a year ago. My principles were different! Very earthly.

In obedience I fail and I don’t care. But God never fail to knock and visit me in my comfort zone.

Every time he visits, he brought e a visitor. He told me “this intruder is a gift!” he told me he will bring her everyday whether I am ready or not!

And I did not mind.

She was so important to Jesus, very valuable and priceless. But for me I cannot see the essence of her importance. She was fiercely demanding! I had a hard time with her. All the time actually!!The discipline and test was hard. Harder than anything in this world

There was a time she was testing me, testing me not to go on with her. But I told her I want to follow Christ, then she continue to make me suffer.  I cried and was hurt of her frankness and high standards. I feel as if I cannot reach it! Too high! Too hard and I’m in pain. But as time passed by, I was tamed by her firmness.She always come without delay. And we became good friends now! She was really indeed a gift from God.

She was the WORD, THE GOOD NEWS. SHE IS WISDOM.

When I made a mistake and try to hide from him.

God would find me even in my secret place where nobody can find me.

And he gave her back again for me to repent and to be found.

When God brought wisdom into my house, I hated her. God told me it was a gift! I accepted her but ignored, run away and played hide and seek with her!Sometimes I gave her time (I have mercy also). But I cannot take it any longer, I got bored! I can’t even understand her. I tried my very best but I just got bored! So I decided to go on my own and left her again.

So God told me to give her a chance.. A CHANCE.. big word!

So I think about it again and again.. I had the hard time sleeping thinking about her and God’s message to me.. CHANCE!

So I thought about her  that night. As I can see, she was never tired…

She was still alive in the world full of darkness.

I realized she was beautiful and as I look closer she was wonderfully made by God.

75% of the people on earth never notice her, mocked and beating her doing things just as I did to her.

But her armor was too strong to be defeated.

Her beauty and calmness was stunning beautiful.

I never realized it since God told me to give her a chance.

People rush as if God never provides. As if nothing left for them but I can’t blame them because of the curse we are blind.

I see this life as a never ending competency, life as a never ending demand and problems. People wake up in the morning chase life and wander…

Still a WANDERER!

So when I was always with her, my whole being changes!

I hear God’s laughter above the sky, he laughs because I’m thirsty now of his gift and I had a hard time with it.

God knew how hard headed I am sometimes. But my thirsty soul reign than my hard headed character.

So he gave me time to study , observe, seek answer with her.

He knew the answers but he did not spoil my seeking soul.

He knew ALL OF ME, even if I become aggressive, stupid and vulnerable.

He knew I would drop all the toys and chased him and his gift after I’m done with it and proved to me that I was wrong (hard headed lil girl!)

He would punish me when I am too overwhelmed with my earthly desires and when I’m too much with my hard headed human character.

So that’s why he gave her to me as my guide.

While I’m living in the world of the dead, he gave me protection; an armor and sword.

He gave me her; wisdom, his word , good news, living bread, THE BIBLE.

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