For Better and for Worst I Thank The Lord 5/25/2014

For Better and for Worst I Thank The Lord 5/25/.2014

During my sadness and mourning, he heard it and looked at me from above.

When I wander in a wobbly road, he gave me compass to straighten the road, Directs me into a path of righteousness

I was blind, I did not notice his way

I feel as if he is punishing me everyday

Later did I know he saved me from danger and troubles

So I thanked the lord for being so patient, merciful and wise.

Before I can think and evaluate my inner motives

He knew it all along the positive and negative desires of my heart

He perfected it in pain and consciousness

Through pain I was awaken by wisdom and warnings

Through consciousness I felt guilt and I am alarmed!

I thank the lord for the gift of pain and consciousness

There are times it feels like darkness never ends.

Sufferings, dilemmas, bad days, worst days never ends, it made me weak and sad

But I thank the lord for all sufferings, weakness and sadness

For I was able to see him in bad times,

For in sadness, I remember him

For in sufferings, I recognize him

Through weakness he makes me stronger and better!

Sometimes when I feel so righteous, he made me careless,

When I feel so perfect and just he made me stubborn

And I thank the lord for making me careless and stubborn

For I able to humble myself before him

Sometimes I pity myself for not having all the wealth and highest form of position in life.

I become aggressive chasing over it and he made my goal so slow to reach!

I thank the lord for making me realize that earthly things and highest position is worthless in heaven.

He made me realized and appreciates relationship at work

He taught me what a role of a master and a servant is

I realized I’m blessed with so much more that I couldn’t ask for more, I am contented.

Sometimes I feel insecure for not being beautiful and smart

But amidst of the shadows of other stars I am shining

He made me realized that I am beautiful inside and out.

He made me realized that I am imperfectly beautiful.

He made my family imperfect and sometimes he allows my love ones to hurt me.

He made my friends imperfect: with fiercely flaws: gossips and betrayal

He made the guys I dated so tempting, deceiving and inviting

He let my heart be broken, vulnerable and realized that all relationship is imperfect.

And I thank the lord for testing my faith like iron sharpens iron!

I thank the lord for I was able to differentiate the standard outlook of a family, friendship of humanity and of God.

And above all, I thank the lord for he taught me to forgive and forget. To let go of the bitterness and humble myself before him. I was able to gain better understanding of a commitment.

Oh I praise and Thank the Lord for his undying love and Sovereignty ! You deserve my highest praise Jesus 🙂

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Letter For The ONE

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Hey… I wonder when we will ever meet. Where would that be?  What would I really feel when I first saw, smiled, talked and touched you?  Have we met? Are you a friend? Colleague?  Batch mate? Boss? Co-worker? Best bud like in movies? Or a mere stranger?  What would be the color of your hair, skin and eyes? Would you look at me in the eyes and stare at me as if I was the long lost pair of yours?  Have we passed by with each other in the mall, school, park , church or anywhere? Have we already exchanged our smiles already? Everything is a mystery and it’s kinda weird because I often think about you. There is this image and I know it is yours. There is this feeling that is reserved for you. I don’t care about your history, as long that the right time would come you will be mine forever. I’ve done a lot of things in my life. I’ve been hurt a lot of times, confused in the quest of love and been challenged. I became lonely in those times we haven’t met..   There are times I am caught by desperation of love and all I had to do was pray.  In the midst of my single life and reality shines on me when my past loved didn’t work. out It is then you started to exist little by little.. Like a crystal clear water. As I proceed my life into the process of growing up, the more it open to the hope that someday I will find my way to you..  By the vast of unkwnowing dilemma you will come into the rescue. That is why I really don’t care if how long would I be single. But t life is lonely without you and dangerous. A lot of hypocrites, deceitful and liars are living here on earth and you know that. But I know, by the help of God I will be fine. I’ll wait for that day that you and I will finally meet and that would be my happiest moment of my life.  Excited to have our own little family.. I will bear our first born child and I wish it would be a boy. He will grow up just like you, the one I love. I will take our vows seriously till my last breath. I will serve you as I am entitled to serve you forever. I’m so curious and excited before we make it.   Whoever you are.. Whatever you may be.. I’m going to love you with all my heart, mind and soul. You don’t know how much I prayed for you. That God may someday grant my wish to have that someone that I will love for the rest of my life.   I’ll be waiting till the time come… Someday we will meet.. I’m leaving my life in your hand because I’m certain that you’re the one.  May God be the center of our love… I’m longing to see you love..

THE GIFT

As I reminisce my life way back two years ago or a year ago. My principles were different! Very earthly.

In obedience I fail and I don’t care. But God never fail to knock and visit me in my comfort zone.

Every time he visits, he brought e a visitor. He told me “this intruder is a gift!” he told me he will bring her everyday whether I am ready or not!

And I did not mind.

She was so important to Jesus, very valuable and priceless. But for me I cannot see the essence of her importance. She was fiercely demanding! I had a hard time with her. All the time actually!!The discipline and test was hard. Harder than anything in this world

There was a time she was testing me, testing me not to go on with her. But I told her I want to follow Christ, then she continue to make me suffer.  I cried and was hurt of her frankness and high standards. I feel as if I cannot reach it! Too high! Too hard and I’m in pain. But as time passed by, I was tamed by her firmness.She always come without delay. And we became good friends now! She was really indeed a gift from God.

She was the WORD, THE GOOD NEWS. SHE IS WISDOM.

When I made a mistake and try to hide from him.

God would find me even in my secret place where nobody can find me.

And he gave her back again for me to repent and to be found.

When God brought wisdom into my house, I hated her. God told me it was a gift! I accepted her but ignored, run away and played hide and seek with her!Sometimes I gave her time (I have mercy also). But I cannot take it any longer, I got bored! I can’t even understand her. I tried my very best but I just got bored! So I decided to go on my own and left her again.

So God told me to give her a chance.. A CHANCE.. big word!

So I think about it again and again.. I had the hard time sleeping thinking about her and God’s message to me.. CHANCE!

So I thought about her  that night. As I can see, she was never tired…

She was still alive in the world full of darkness.

I realized she was beautiful and as I look closer she was wonderfully made by God.

75% of the people on earth never notice her, mocked and beating her doing things just as I did to her.

But her armor was too strong to be defeated.

Her beauty and calmness was stunning beautiful.

I never realized it since God told me to give her a chance.

People rush as if God never provides. As if nothing left for them but I can’t blame them because of the curse we are blind.

I see this life as a never ending competency, life as a never ending demand and problems. People wake up in the morning chase life and wander…

Still a WANDERER!

So when I was always with her, my whole being changes!

I hear God’s laughter above the sky, he laughs because I’m thirsty now of his gift and I had a hard time with it.

God knew how hard headed I am sometimes. But my thirsty soul reign than my hard headed character.

So he gave me time to study , observe, seek answer with her.

He knew the answers but he did not spoil my seeking soul.

He knew ALL OF ME, even if I become aggressive, stupid and vulnerable.

He knew I would drop all the toys and chased him and his gift after I’m done with it and proved to me that I was wrong (hard headed lil girl!)

He would punish me when I am too overwhelmed with my earthly desires and when I’m too much with my hard headed human character.

So that’s why he gave her to me as my guide.

While I’m living in the world of the dead, he gave me protection; an armor and sword.

He gave me her; wisdom, his word , good news, living bread, THE BIBLE.